WelcomeTo My World

Saturday, 14 April 2012

For Kel


Stay strong.
I have faith in you.

You will make it. You'll see.

Think about the following - what is a bully?

bully = someone who tyrannizes, mistreats and beats up others that are weaker than he himself. Pathetic.

But there's another meaning to the word ...

bully = corned beef

So, "bully" stands for a kind of sad excuse for regular beef meat.

And it also stands for ...

... a sad excuse for a human being ... yes, "human" ...

Don't stay alone with this. Seek help. Stand your ground. And breathe freely again.

*=*=*=*=* A Bully is Corned Beef on Legs. *=*=*=*=*


  1. Comment 1 of 2

    Thank you so much for posting this video of mine! It was a present I made in March 2009, for someone most special and dear to me, Kel (short for Kelvin), a 13 year old boy who suffered massively from a bully every day at school.

    We knew each other from YouTube, and this is where we talked. Every night. For hours. Bullying was a key topic from the very beginning, and on Sunday night (the second day after we had started our conversations), Kel asked:

    "can i tell you a secrit?"

    There was something Kel needed to talk about; it was eating him up from the inside … He was terribly afraid of what Todd, the bully, would probably do on Monday, and therefore he intended to skip school that day. And although he knew what I would probably have to say to that, he stated that no matter what, he would not go.

    And now, for the first time, I was in the position of having to give some parent-y answer — my responsibility did not allow me to just ignore what Kel had confined in me. I took up the thought and went through every possible consequence of what Kel's intention might bring, but also what chances he had, to prevent him from taking damage. And I stated that *Todd was not right* with what he did and said, and that he had no right to do all those things to Kel.

    Still … I could not do anything else than to give him the advice to still go to school, and seek help. To risk being beaten up again … And me, the grownup, just had the answer for him that he should go to school and try to get help. This was all of the "wisdom" I could spread, and it meant that Kel was the one who would have to face whatever risks and consequences there were.

    I was afraid for Kel, indeed, and ashamed because I feared that it was not enough what I could do here, by saying all these things, trying to boost up his courage, and yet letting him walk onto the battlefield alone, with no chance of winning over whatever might await him.

    "And I fear that it isn't enough …" This line went through my head. It is from a song I like very much, and it fit so well to my feelings. And there and then, I decided to do something else than just talk.

    Being a YouTuber, I started to make a video, that was a personal present, and that should contain some thoughts about how the situation was, but also offer a beacon of hope somehow. The idea was there, loud an clear, and all the pieces fit seamlessly together — and so, in no time that Sunday night, I was able upload the finished video you can watch above to YouTube. It was only a short clip, but I did not intend to make a long speech there. What I wanted to do, was pass out a warm hug, and send a signal of reassurance. The key message comes at the very end, in huge and radiant letters:


    And indeed, it worked: Kel found the courage and trust to indeed go to school the next day. A reason for me to be proud? Maybe. But as so often in life: Where there's light, there's shadow …


  2. Comment 2 of 2


    In recess, Todd had started harassing Kel, as he always did, and had not given up, with other kids watching and doing nothing to help Kel. Kel could not get away from Todd, but he tried something that was very important to him: He tried not to cry — what usually happened to him, when Todd started his tormenting.

    Kel had a lot to cry about, and there was nothing to made fun about that … still, so many kids at school did, and this is why he chose the name of his original YouTube channel — "kelvinwontcry" was a goal he had set for himself.

    This morning, he reached this goal for the first time, staying strong in a situation that would have normally broken him instantly. But still, Todd went on an teased him … and so Kel finally told him to stop, and even shoved him away.

    A success? Yes. A moment of triumph and victory? No. Because advice from grown-ups ever so often comes with a price. Todd got mad, hit Kel hard in the face, made his lip rip and bleed, and made Kel loose a tooth.

    This is what following the advice of a grown-up can get you.

    "my tooth came out but it was a baby tooth any way so i dont care."

    The end result of the incident: Kel got suspended from school for a day, as he admittedly had "started the fight", by shoving Todd. Todd also got suspended, but to talk about a fair decision by the principle is, as will be agreed, not an option here.

    So now, I at least was not the only grown-up who said something that meant personal risk and physical pain for Kel, or made a decision that was far from being fair. But: It had been my advice that had gotten Kel in so much trouble, and even suffer serious physical damage.

    But still — the bond that had been forged between Kel and me during our first weekend together was still intact, and it had become more important and strong, even … because now, Kel had someone who he could talk about things that happened!

    One day later, I made the video "For Us"

    About what happened after that, and how things ended, you can find more on my second YouTube channel


    Thanks again for your blog post.